


Aim All the Searchlights

by matchsticks_p (matchsticks)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Community: gwaine_quest, Gen, M/M, Office AU, Qing Dynasty AU, Rebel Without a Cause AU, Reincarnation, Star Trek AU, Temporary Character Death, black plague AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchsticks/pseuds/matchsticks_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the gwaine_quest <a href="http://gwaine-quest.livejournal.com/26268.html">fix-it fest</a> prompt that reads, "Merlin is still waiting for Arthur, but he meets a lot of Gwaine's along the way. Maybe it's destiny's way of telling him just to be happy for a while?" 15th century France, Qing Dynasty China, 1950s America, present-day England, and finally the future.</p>
<p>This is a reincarnation fic, so there's technically multiple major character death warnings, in that they keep dying and reincarnating. For those who want to know whether there's ultimately a happy ending: there is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aim All the Searchlights

**\- France, 1430 -**

Merlin is tilling the land when he remembers. 

Merlin is sixteen years old, a serf indebted to his father, his vassal, and his Lord God, toiling and giving of his body humbly, vaguely aware that he's supposed to care about some chick named Jeanne d'Arc who's supposedly bringing glory to France and God. One moment, he's thinking _'if anyone asks, I'm going to pretend this dumb war matters a whole lot to me, but honestly I'm more worried about whether we have enough manure for the soil.'_ The next moment, he remembers all of it.

Merlin is a wizard and he is waiting for Arthur. Everything else is a minor detail.

He looks down at the hoe in his hands and thinks, "Well, shit. What am I supposed to do now?"

It's not as though Merlin's life changes significantly in any real way. He's still a serf and he's still terrified of famine, bandits, plagues, death. He still loves his mother and obeys his father. His house is still his house, and his horse is still his horse. When he visits the village square to barter goods with the tradesmen, he still thinks, _'yes, this is my home.'_ But inside of himself, he now holds another life. And there's nothing he can do about it but wait.

Merlin thinks back on everyone he's ever seen in this life and can't remember anyone who might've been Arthur. There is no one named Arthur, no one who looks like Arthur, no one who sounds like Arthur, no one whose incredibly stupid actions immediately gives him away as definitely Arthur. 

The next time he heads into town to see the farrier about some horseshoes, though, he suddenly realizes that the farrier Gwaine is, you know, _Gwaine_.

"Hello, Merlin," Gwaine says, flipping his hair and flashing Merlin an unnecessarily dazzling smile. 

It hits Merlin full force and he practically stumbles backwards, and oh mon dieu, it's been however many hundred years and Gwaine's stupid shiny teeth can still do that to him.

Gwaine doesn't remember. Merlin can tell. He's not sure how he knows, but Gwaine will never remember until Merlin is reunited with Arthur and balance is restored. 

Still, for a guy who doesn't remember all the heated glances they once exchanged under the light of Camelot's moon, Gwaine lets his hands linger for an awfully long time on Merlin's shoulders while they have a mild disagreement over equine hoof care.

His fingers brush the base of Merlin's neck and Merlin can feel the blood rush to his cheeks. The Gwaine effect has no expiration date, apparently.

"You should come by more often," Gwaine says. "Your crop could yield a lot more if your horses had better footing."

"I'll...uh, yes. I'll do that." Merlin's voice cracks as though he's going through a second puberty.

The following winter, Merlin catches the Black Death and dies shortly thereafter.

**\- China, Qing Dynasty (1700s-ish) -**

Merlin is a scribe in Justice Pao Lung Sing's court, copying out a complicated and frankly rather embarrassing letter for the Justice when he remembers.

He's in his late twenties, and people laugh at him and call him a eunuch behind his back because he still hasn't married or even been interested in a girl. He knows, everyone knows, that Justice Pao is pretty much useless and only has his paltry post as a ninth degree judge because he bought it. Being a scribe for him is not that glamorous, but unlike most people, Merlin honestly doesn't think Justice Pao is an asshole. He knows that buried deep, deep, _deep_ inside, the Justice has a good heart and he has a strong feeling that someday, he'll become a better person.

As soon as Merlin remembers, he wonders if he has an unhealthy addiction to people like that. Justice Pao reminds him a lot of Arthur. Unfortunately, he isn't actually Arthur, which means the balance of the world is still not restored and he still has to wait.

Merlin spends his days continuing to do his job, taking dictations and covering up the Justice's scandals and writing long apologies to the many parties Justice Pao offends on a daily basis. Sometimes he's called upon to record the proceedings in court, which is always an exercise in extreme secondhand embarrassment. Justice Pao hands down rulings like he'll die if he doesn't use words like "motherfucker" and "dog humper" and "shit eater" every minute. When Merlin's pretty sure no one will notice, he censors the records a bit and changes the wording so Justice Pao comes off slightly less like an idiot. 

One day, a complainant comes to charge a foreigner with stealing.

Said foreigner, now bound in ropes before the court, surrounded by guards, was allegedly pretending to be an important dignitary in order to cheat an innkeeper out of room and board. When he was caught and searched, they found that he had half the contents of the plaintiff's moneybox in his pockets, as well as his wife's jewellery down his pants. 

Said foreigner is Gwaine. 

"What can I say, I have nimble fingers," Gwaine says with a laugh, somehow managing to wink at the entire court.

Merlin groans.

Justice Pao is in no mood today (truth be told he's hungover as fuck and also lost a rather hefty sum to a lady who shall remain unnamed while gambling last night), and as the proceedings go on and Gwaine gets cheekier and cheekier, Justice Pao just decides he doesn't want to deal with it anymore.

"Besides, you caught me fair and square, and you got all your money back, so I don't know why we're even here. You've lost nothing, and in fact you gained the benefit of a whole night of my company, which is something women and men around the world have been known to gag for—" 

"Alright, that's it. I sentence you to beheading."

" _What_?"

"Your head is coming off," Justice Pao says, his own head buried in his arms as he sits slumped over his desk. "I'm tired of your handsome face and your irritating charm, and I don't want to hear your voice anymore. Goodbye."

The imperial guards haul off Gwaine before he has the chance to say anything else.

Merlin takes a quick look around to make sure nobody's looking, and then he writes down, _Justice Pao: Alright, that's it. I sentence you to exile._

No one will notice. Justice Pao doesn't really care either way, and exile is a much more normal punishment for the severity of Gwaine's crimes than beheading anyway. 

That night, he sneaks into the holding cells and cuts the rope around Gwaine's wrists.

"Why are you doing this for me?" Gwaine asks. "If anyone finds out, you're a dead man."

"Don't worry, I can handle Pao Lung Sing. You just worry about getting out of town without being seen. And remember, you can't come here ever again."

On an impulse neither of them could understand, Gwaine suddenly grabs Merlin's hands and says, "Come with me."

Merlin remembers all the times Gwaine has asked him to do just that, and all the times he turned him down in favour of making sure a spoilt brat of a boy learned how to be an honourable man, and he thinks, _I'm sorry, my old friend, but I have to do this to you again._

"I can't," Merlin whispers. "I have to...I mean, you don't even know me."

Gwaine leaves and Merlin stays. Arthur never comes.

**\- United States, 1955 -**

Merlin is that kid at school who never gets invited to parties when he remembers.

He's always felt out of sync with everyone around him, not just because he's quiet and weird and has a dark complexion in a sea of wholesome white bread all-American smiling faces and wears an old tweed jacket instead of a new leather one to school. He has always felt literally out of sync, like he's in the wrong time, too far behind or maybe too far ahead. 

It's such a relief when he remembers, because it shows that there's a reason he's held himself apart from everyone else for all these years. It isn't just because he's a sullen, ornery, difficult child. It's because he's waiting for Arthur.

He almost thinks he's finally found Arthur the day Jim Stark transfers to Dawson High School. Jim is blond and beautiful and has some kind of problem with following orders. He's got the most popular girl in school sticking to him like a shadow before his first day is even over. But he ain't like the greasers Judy usually hangs around with. When his eyes pass over Merlin, he actually _sees_ him. He lends Merlin his coat, once, when they're on a school trip and Merlin gets cold. 

Judy sticks a little too tight to Jim, and eventually trouble brews with her usual squeeze. It's inevitable. Gwaine challenges Jim to a chickie race in some sort of exhibition of masculinity that makes Merlin secretly roll his eyes as much as the old jousting contests of Camelot always did. 

It isn't until they're already standing by the cliffs, two bent old cars raring to go with a boy in each one and Judy standing like a prize between them, the smell of gasoline in the air and the roar of V8 engines almost drowning out the excited buzz of teenagers gathered to watch bloodshed, that Merlin realizes Gwaine is his fucking Gwaine. 

Merlin's mind flashes back to a moment in freshman year. He'd been staying late after school because of detention, and on his way out he'd run into Gwaine in the hall, alone without his goons. They'd accidentally made eye contact. The feelings that rushed in as they both quickly looked away now make a lot more sense.

It's too late, though, because Judy screams "GO!!" and the two cars hurtle forward into the night, toward the cliffs. The first one to jump out is a chicken. 

Something goes wrong. Merlin doesn't know what, but Jim jumps out and Gwaine doesn't. Two cars plunge off the cliffs and onto the salty rocks below in a shower of flames. One of them is empty. One of them isn't.

Merlin feels horribly guilty for being relieved that Jim survived.

**\- England, present day -**

Gwaine is transferring to a different field office when Merlin remembers.

It's Gwaine's leaving do, and Merlin's not sure why he was even invited because he and Gwaine had only ever exchanged friendly nods in the lift on the way to different floors.

Merlin is standing in front of a fold-out table, ladling some punch into his paper cup, looking at the sparkly banner that says "GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK!!!" hung from the ceiling and thinking about how they'd used the same tacky banner when Louise from accounting had retired last year, when he remembers.

There's a cake on the table, next to the punch bowl. It's got slices cut out of it, but Merlin can still mostly make out what the piped purple icing originally said: _Enjoy Malaga, You Wanker!_ Because today is Gwaine's last day here in London. He's transferring to a position in Spain, and no one can blame him because the weather report says it's 17 bleedin' degrees there in the middle of December, while hovers wet and limp at 6.

Merlin drinks his punch and looks for Gwaine. He's standing in the middle of a gaggle of ladies, of course, but he's so polite that he looks up to say hi to Merlin, even though they've only ever spoken a dozen words to each other in this life.

"Hi, um. I just. I, uh, just wanted to say good luck?"

"Thanks, mate. Merlin, right? From tech support?"

"Yeah, yeah. On fourth floor. And I'll still be here, stuck on fourth floor while you enjoy Malaga."

Gwaine chuckles politely. "I'll be thinking of you as I enjoy the endless sunshine and the warm breeze blowing in from the sea."

"Yes, please do. Imagine my face, pressed up against the window, looking miserable as rain streaks down the glass."

Gwaine chuckles again, more heartily this time. "I will, and then I'll toss my head back and laugh."

It's Merlin's turn to chuckle, and he does. He feels the conversation winding to its natural close. There's nothing more to say in this exchange between two people who are, as far as Gwaine knows, strangers. There is no plausible reason for Merlin to ask him to stay. He shuffles his feet and looks down. "Well, um, I'll let you go, then. Goodbye and good luck," he says, gesturing awkwardly at the banner. 

Gwaine smiles and nods and says thank you.

Gwaine leaves. Merlin thinks about all the times he's chosen to leave Gwaine and thinks, "Yeah, fair enough."

**\- Alpha Quadrant, Stardate 42073.1 -**

Merlin is serving his first year aboard the USS Miranda when he remembers.

And he's pretty sure he's finally found Arthur.

He's in the mess hall, eating a sandwich and half-listening to the other people at his table gossip about some internal news that's been spreading like wildfire. Apparently, some young upstart named Arthur had recently been promoted to Captain of USS Excalibur, and promptly decided to try out a radical new way of captaining his ship: he dismantled the command structure and said that everybody would have an equal say in all major decisions through consensus. Merlin's between bites of his passable replicator ham and cheese on whole wheat when he remembers, and as his brain catches up, he realises, shit, that's probably _Arthur_.

Who else would try to install a direct democracy _in the military_? It's ridiculous. And the best and worst part is, it's been working out surprisingly well so far for USS Excalibur. Their mission completion rate was astounding. Their mortality rate was incomparable. The higher ups at Starfleet are understandably starting to freak out, because it might work for one specific ship with one specific captain and his specific mix of officers, but if it starts being attempted in a widespread way, it could cause anarchy and the collapse of Starfleet itself. There are rumours of threats to court marshal Arthur if he doesn't fall back in line. 

Merlin thinks, _oh my god, it's definitely, definitely Arthur_.

The science officer sitting across from him in the mess hall sees the look on his face and asks, "What?"

"Do you know where the USS Excalibur is right now?"

"Somewhere near the Rigel system."

Shit. That's light-years away. How is Merlin supposed to get to Arthur? He's pretty sure this whole second coming of the Arthurian age thing won't work unless they're actually together, in close proximity. Surely, at the very least, they have to be orbiting the same sun and/or suns.

"Why? What's up?" the guy across from him asks again, and Merlin's about to brush him off with some vague excuse when the penny finally drops. The science officer sitting across from him, the man who has been relentlessly and inappropriately flirting with him since he was the assistant instructor for Merlin's second-year biology class at the Academy, is none other than Lieutenant Commander Gwaine.

Merlin remembers Gwaine's skill with the sword and marvels at the strangeness of a universe in which Gwaine ended up specializing in xenobiology rather than combat. 

Swords or phasers, science or fighting, one thing never fails to stay the same: the frisson of feeling that jumps across the air between them whenever they're close enough to touch. It's been there since they first met at Starfleet Academy, before Merlin knew he was Merlin. It's been there since they first met in the middle of a tavern brawl, before Merlin forgot he was Merlin. For every time Merlin has missed Arthur, he's allowed a near miss with Gwaine to happen. 

"Can we speak in private?" Merlin asks.

Gwaine waggles his eyebrows. "Follow me."

Merlin does, and finds himself stepping through a controlled-entry door after Gwaine. He looks around at all the beakers and PADDs and realises, "You took me to your workstation?"

"What's wrong with my workstation?"

It's messy and dirty and there's an iridescent slime mould growing over parts of it and it's a miracle Gwaine can get any work done or indeed find any of his work in that jumble, Merlin doesn't say. "It's...I said private?"

"What, did you mean you wanted to go to my quarters?" Gwaine winks at him. "All you had to do was ask."

"Shut up." Merlin takes a moment to fully appreciate how close they're standing to each other right now. "I need to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone else."

"Everyone's on their lunch break and they won't be back for a while. It's private, I promise," Gwaine says solemnly. He reaches forward and rests his hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You can tell me."

Merlin looks into Gwaine's face. He's been trying the same thing for centuries and it hasn't worked, in all this time. Maybe it's time to stop running and do what he wants to do instead.

He leans forward and kisses Gwaine.

It's just a modest press of his lips against Gwaine's, a flash of warmth and a something restless finally settling down in his chest, quick and simple before he backs away again. But he can't stop smiling afterwards and it doesn't look like Gwaine can either.

"Was that the big secret you needed to tell me? Because I hate to break it to you, Ensign Emrys, but I've known for ages. "

Merlin is distinctly aware of two things: Gwaine's hand sliding from his shoulder to his hip, and the urgent need to kiss him again and again and again. Sadly, "No, I actually have to tell you something important. It's going to sound really weird and I can't explain all the reasons to you yet, but if you trust me for now, it will all make sense eventually."

"Okay," Gwaine says gamely. "I trust you."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say yet."

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" The wide grin still hasn't left Gwaine's face, and Merlin knows exactly what he means.

"I need to figure out a way to take this ship to the Rigel system in order to intercept the USS Excalibur." 

"Sure. I can help you with that."

Merlin laughs, and he thought he wanted to kiss Gwaine so badly before but now he wants to kiss him ten times more. "Oh really?"

"I'm not kidding," Gwaine says. "People owe me favours, I know a few secrets important enough to change some minds, and if all else fails I'm pretty sure one of the moulds I've been experimenting with releases some sort of paralysing spore. We can just commandeer the ship if it comes down to it. ...Only for a little bit!" he hastens to add when he sees the look on Merlin's face.

Merlin eyes the mess that is Gwaine's workstation with a new wariness. "Gwaine, what exactly do you _do_ on this ship?"

"Whatever I want," he replies with that roguish smile Merlin has always, always loved.

Gwaine runs around pulling up blueprints and schematics on various PADDs, and Merlin can feel it in his bones that the two of them will be able to get to Rigel somehow, and make contact with Arthur, and usher in a new era of peace and prosperity for the whole galaxy. 

He slides his hand into Gwaine's free one, the one that's not currently tipping something suspicious into a vial. Merlin doesn't even want to know. He's really looking forward to watching the emotions dance through Gwaine's eyes when they finally find Arthur and he remembers again. 

"I love a good excuse to scheme," Gwaine tells him as he draws backup plans for stealing an escape pod without anyone noticing.

"I know you do," Merlin says, squeezing his fingers fondly.

**Author's Note:**

> The Qing Dynasty China segment is mercilessly stolen from one of my favourite Stephen Chow movies, the completely nonsensical yet hilarious _Hail to the Judge_. [It's up on Youtube here,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlE1Eh0JvBA) but the subtitles really don't capture the Cantonese very well, or in some places at all, which is a shame because much of the humour hinges on puns. The 1950s America segment is ~inspired by the greatest teenage angst flick of all time, _Rebel Without a Cause_ , and of course the final segment is a Star Trek AU.


End file.
